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April 22 2010

itrant

April 20 2010

itrant
Work has been a hectic rush from beginning to end for the last week and it's looking like it'll be that again this week. Joy. Then there are some things where I can't decide to laugh or scream.

I'm given a coworker's laptop so I can try to fix whatever's wrong with it. There's an envelope attached to the back. Inside this envelope is a 3x5" index card with *all* of this teacher's log in information on it. I'm talking about school login, SoCT Gas, credit card, etc. Hell, I can buy her shoes on Zappos. I want to scream at her that this is privileged information that should be kept much more confidential.

I'm called out to figure out why a computer isn't turned on. Well, someone had unplugged the power cord.

Another coworker wanted to know how to get the headphones to work. I suggested she plug them into the computer. She wanted to know what to do after that. I assumed that there was a hardware problem since plugging in the headphones should cause the Mac to switch to them. I get there and she's still holding the cord. She hadn't tried to plug them in and go, she just assumed that there was a lot of steps and she wasn't going to plug them in until she had all of the instructions.

Some of the interns were joking around and ask me if I was going to celebrate 4/20. I explained that I knew what that meant. They grew wide-eyed and started talking about how it's Hitler's birthday. They wanted to know if I was celebrating that. I explained that I'd be asking their parents to keep a close eye on them tonight.

Disclaimer: I don't care if anyone "celebrates" 4/20, but don't insult me.

A consultant set up a brilliant back-up strategy. It isn't working.

I've had several requests for putting copyrighted information onto personal websites. I try to explain that Def Poetry Jam *is* amazing, but HBO doesn't like its reproduction without prior consent. People appear genuinely pissed off that I'm trying to keep anyone from getting sued.

I'm watching a "webinar." The term "webinar" aggravates me. The "webinar" is to try to sell us on a teaching workshop. I don't think people who think "webinar" is a legitimate word should teach. They should be shot.

March 31 2010

itrant

March 11 2010

March 09 2010

March 08 2010

March 04 2010

itrant

Timesheets

I hate timesheets.  I hate filling them out.  I hate turning them in.  And I hate that they're never looked at.  If I'm going to blow my time doing something tedious and pointless, I want my boss to be miserable, too.

Timesheets are like the ultimate expression of an absentee boss. They're required just so that someone can keep track of what you're doing.  It's kind of like a constant reminder that you're not doing your job.  Someone has to check up on you.  If the boss were around and active, this wouldn't be an issue.

Let's avoid this kind of unpleasantness.  Give me assignments and I'll get them done.  If they're not done, we can talk about my use of time.  As long as I'm meeting the deadlines, don't insult me.

February 05 2010

February 04 2010

January 25 2010

January 14 2010

itrant

You have consulted me for the last time

There are times when it's appropriate to demand honor through the lost practice of dueling.  I sometimes wish that I had ceremonial pistols by which another individual and I could march off ten paces and then test the nation's health care system.  This usually happens when I have to work with a consultant.

I believe that "consultant" is a business practice somewhere between politics and late night TV talk host working with NBC (that reference will be really dated in a year).  Basically, you can't be sure whether they're lying, incompetent, or merely trying to take your place.  In any event, working with a hired consultant is sometimes like sticking your genitals in a blender.

In certain tech departments, consultants are simply a way of life.  Certain networking needs or specific skill sets are required but training a staff member may not be a good investment, either in money or time.  If something only needs to be done infrequently or once, it probably makes sense to bring in someone else.  However, that person is seen as *the* guru.  He or she is *the* expert.  Somehow, we find a way to forget that he or she has been brought in for one job.  We only need one aspect of their expertise, usually.

Frankly, some consultants only have one area of expertise.  It tends to be something necessary and lucrative, but too esoteric for other people to bother with.  Because this works out so well, they can become complete and utter morons in other areas of basic knowledge.  This is my experience with consultants.

I'll occasionally have a consultant come in and make a remark about some network feature that I'm administrating or a computer that I've configured or a repair that I've done.  Great.  You know what?  You're the database guy.  Go work on the damn database.  I haven't found any useful criticism from an offhand remark from a consultant because they don't have any clue what our system is.  Most of the time, things work a certain way for a reason.  I haven't seen any consultants that we've needed often enough to actually get to know the network and needs of the users.

Unfortunately, consultants are "experts."  I have to take the time to evaluate all of their helpful tips, regardless of how asinine they are.  Most of the time, it sounds like someone read a back page article in a tech magazine and decided to share the wealth.  Jackasses.

December 18 2009

December 17 2009

December 16 2009

December 14 2009

December 13 2009

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